SO MUCH!!! FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID

SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE.
TAKE A LOOK:
1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click'
and I wrote 'click'."
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2) Customer: "I received the software update
you sent, but I am still getting the same error
message."

Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it
to get it to work?"
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3)Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing
Microsoft Word."

Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A: SETUP'."

Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and
tell me what it says."

Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore
and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup
disk."

Customer:: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."
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4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use
your software?"

Tech Support:: ?!%#$(welll pretend to smile)
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5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand
side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button
displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from
there?"
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6) Tech Support: : "What type of computer do
you have?"

Customer:: "A white one."
Tech support::
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7). Tech Support:: "What operating system are
you running?"

Customer: "Pentium."

Tech support::
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8). Customer: "My computer's telling me I
performed an illegal abortion."
Tech support::

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9)Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."


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10).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support::

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11). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer.
I urgently need to print document, but the computer
won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and
non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there
a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying
there's an Intel inside."

Tech support::
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12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if
there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
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13). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say
now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support:: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

Tech support::
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best of the lot

14). A plain computer illiterate guy rings
tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power
supply.


Tech:(keep quite)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the
startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll
need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just
needed to change the startup and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the
command.
Tech support::

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant
that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support::(hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our
customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD

NOSMOKE.COM at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is
still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version
of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft
and ask them for a patch that will give you the
file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech support:: How did you come to that conclusion?


Tech support::(hush hush)

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him
about what you said, and he started asking questions
about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't
compatible with NOSMOKE.
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15) customer care officer:I need a product
identification no: right now and may I help u in
finding it out?

Cust: sure

CCO: could u left click on start and do u find
'My Computer'?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I
find your computer?