Friday, November 30, 2007

Funny poetry for fun sake

Roses are red; violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in a cage but laughing at you.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
then ~ I wrote your name on my heart And I got a heart attack straight away

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

God saw me hungry, HE created pizza.
HE saw me thirsty, HE created Pepsi
HE saw me in dark, HE created light
HE saw me without problems, HE created YOU.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When your life is in darkness, pray to God
ask him to free you from darkness
and if after you pray,
you're still in darkness,
Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

SO MUCH!!! FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE



PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID

SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE.
TAKE A LOOK:
1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click'
and I wrote 'click'."
----------------------------------------

2) Customer: "I received the software update
you sent, but I am still getting the same error
message."

Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it
to get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------

3)Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing
Microsoft Word."

Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A: SETUP'."

Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and
tell me what it says."

Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore
and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup
disk."

Customer:: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."
--------------------------------------------------

4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use
your software?"

Tech Support:: ?!%#$(welll pretend to smile)
--------------------------------------------------

5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand
side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button
displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from
there?"
--------------------------------------------------

6) Tech Support: : "What type of computer do
you have?"

Customer:: "A white one."
Tech support::
--------------------------------------------------

7). Tech Support:: "What operating system are
you running?"

Customer: "Pentium."

Tech support::
--------------------------------------------------

8). Customer: "My computer's telling me I
performed an illegal abortion."
Tech support::

--------------------------------------------------

9)Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."


--------------------------------------------------

10).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support::

--------------------------------------------------

11). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer.
I urgently need to print document, but the computer
won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and
non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there
a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying
there's an Intel inside."

Tech support::
--------------------------------------------------

12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if
there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------

13). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say
now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support:: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

Tech support::
--------------------------------------------------
best of the lot

14). A plain computer illiterate guy rings
tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power
supply.


Tech:(keep quite)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the
startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll
need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just
needed to change the startup and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the
command.
Tech support::

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant
that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support::(hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our
customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD

NOSMOKE.COM at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is
still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version
of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft
and ask them for a patch that will give you the
file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech support:: How did you come to that conclusion?


Tech support::(hush hush)

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him
about what you said, and he started asking questions
about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't
compatible with NOSMOKE.
-------------------------------------------------

15) customer care officer:I need a product
identification no: right now and may I help u in
finding it out?

Cust: sure

CCO: could u left click on start and do u find
'My Computer'?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I
find your computer?

Brain Damaging Habits


1. No Breakfast
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level.
This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.

2. Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.

3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar consumption
Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.
5. Air Pollution
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.
6. Sleep Deprivation
Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.
7. Head covered while sleeping
Sleeping with the head covered, increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.
8. Working your brain during illness
Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts
Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.

10. Talking Rarely
Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The main causes of liver damage are:

1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late are main cause.
2. Not urinating in the morning.
3. Too much eating.
4. Skipping breakfast.
5. Consuming too much medication.
6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food coloring, and artificial sweetener.
7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil. As much as possible reduce cooking oil use when frying, which includes even the best cooking oils like olive oil.
Do not consume fried foods when you are tired, except if the body is very fit.
8. Consuming raw (overly done) foods also add to the burden of liver.
Veggies should be eaten raw or cooked 3-5 parts. Fried veggies should be finished in one sitting, do not store.


We should prevent this without necessarily spending more. We just have to adopt a good daily lifestyle and eating habits. Maintaining good eating habits and time condition are very important for our bodies to absorb and get rid of unnecessary chemicals according to "schedule."

Because:

Evening at 9 - 11pm: is the time for eliminating unnecessary/toxic chemicals (detoxification) from the antibody system (lymph nodes). This time duration should be spent by relaxing or listening to music. If during this time a housewife is still in an unrelaxed state such as washing the dishes or monitoring children doing their homework, this will have a negative impact on health.

Evening at 11pm - 1am : is the detoxification process in the liver, and ideally should be done in a deep sleep state.

Early morning 1 - 3am : detoxification process in the gall, also ideally done in a deep sleep state.
Early morning 3 - 5am : detoxification in the lungs. Therefore there will sometimes be a severe cough for cough sufferers during this time. Since the detoxification process had reached the respiratory tract, there is no need to take cough medicine so as not to interfere with toxin removal process.
Morning 5 - 7am : detoxification in the colon, you should empty your bowel.

Morning 7 - 9am : absorption of nutrients in the small intestine, you should be having breakfast at this time. Breakfast should be earlier, before 6:30am, for those who are sick. Breakfast before 7:30am is very beneficial to those wanting to stay fit. Those who always skip breakfast, they should change their habits, and it is still better to eat breakfast late until 9 - 10am rather than no meal at all.

Sleeping so late and waking up too late will disrupt the process of removing unnecessary chemicals. Aside from that, midnight to 4:00 am is the time when the bone marrow produces blood. Therefore, have a good sleep and don't sleep late.

Appreciate your current situation


 
 

"To  make money we lose our health and then to restore our health we lose  money. We live as if we are never going to die and we die as if we  never lived"  




Love your parents


































Thursday, November 29, 2007

THE RULES - The Male side of the Story


We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules:

  • Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
    1.
    Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1.
  • Crying is blackmail.

    1.
  • Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
  • Subtle hints do not work!
  • Strong hints do not work!
  • Obvious hints do not work!
  • JUST SAY IT!

    1.
  • 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

    1.
  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for

    1.
    A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor

    1.
  • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days

    1.
    If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us

    1.
  • If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1.
  • You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
  • Not both
  • If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

    1.
  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials

    1.
  • Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we

    1.
  • ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
  • Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
  • We have no idea what mauve is.

    1.
    If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1.
  • If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle

    1.
  • If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
  • 1.
  • When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really

    1.
  • You have enough clothes

    1.
  • You have too many shoes

    1.
  • I am in shape. Round is a shape.

    1.
    Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
    couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.


    Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education








  • Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State...


    Some Important Laws



    LAW OF QUEUE:
    If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.


    LAW OF TELEPHONE:
    When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.


    LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR:
    After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.


    LAW OF THE WORKSHOP:
    Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.


    LAW OF THE ALIBI:
    If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
    the next morning you will have a flat tire.


    BATH THEOREM:
    When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.


    LAW OF ENCOUNTERS:
    The probability of meeting someone you know increases
    when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.


    LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!


    LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


    THEATRE RULE:
    People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.


    LAW OF COFFEE:
    As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee,
    your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.



    Three Trees


    Each day as you wake up, make the decision to strive to do what's right.
    Approach your life as you would your game.. when you make a mistake,
    learn from it, correct it, and get ready for the next point.
    Life moves too fast to sulk and dwell on the past.
    When you're doing everything right and still can't win, be patient.
    No matter how good we are or how hard we struggle to make the right decisions,
    life often makes us wait (that’s true).

    Each sunrise brings a new opportunity. No matter how bad the day before was, today is brand new.
    When you wake up, seek the strength and courage to do the right thing because God's ways are always RIGHT! J


    Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods.
    They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest.
    I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems.
    I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty."

    Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship.
    I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world.
    Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."

    Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest.
    People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching.
    I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."

    After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees.
    When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter" ... and he began cutting it down.
    The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.

    At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard."
    The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

    When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true.
    One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one", and he cut it down.

    When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals.
    He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay.
    This was not at all what he had prayed for.
    The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat.
    His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end.
    The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark.
    The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.

    Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn.
    She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree.
    The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do.
    The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.
    Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree.
    One of them was tired and went to sleep.
    While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe.
    The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped.
    At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.

    Finally, someone came and got the third tree.
    It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it.
    When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill.
     When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.  

    The moral from this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you.
    If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined.

    We don't always know what God's plans are for us.
    We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.



    Eyecare


    Take care of your "delicate" eyes.

    This info' is sure to help PC users very much.

    During a recent visit to an optician, one of my friends was told of an
    exercise for the eyes by a specialist doctor in the US that he termed as
    20-20-20." It is apt for all of us, who spend long hours at our desks,
    looking at the computer screen.
    I Thought I'd share it with you. 20-20-20
    Step I :-
    After every 20 minutes of looking into the computer screen, turn your
    head and try to look at any object placed at least 20 feet away. This
    changes the focal length of your eyes, a must-do for the tired eyes.
    Step II :-
    Try and blink your eyes for 20 times in succession, to moisten them.
    Step III :-
    Time permitting of course, one should walk 20 paces after every 20 minutes
    of sitting in one particular posture. Helps blood circulation for the entire body.

    Circulate among your friends if you care for them and their eyes.
    They say that your eyes are mirror of your soul, so do take care of them, they are priceless...  


    Dreams of various animals...


    Wednesday, November 28, 2007

    Rquirements for Happy Life

    This blog shares all the information to live life with full of happiness.
    To achive our goal we have to have
    1. Health
    2.Education
    3.Spirtuality
    4.Love
    5.Thrill
    and lot many
    I start posting my veiws,thoughts and lot of usefull information.